Sure signs he’s serious about you

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Katie Dutch — used with permission

Women are wasting their time, breath and effort on men who have no intention of committing. Not now, and not this century.

I’ve gotten quite a few questions from women asking if I think their men are ready to commit and every story has the same disappointing, anti-climactic problem:

The guy has issues.

He’s lazy (in EVERY aspect). He’s on social media with pics of him boozing it up with other women. He’s out clubbing every night with his boys. He’s unsure about dating them because he’s still jaded from his previous bad relationships, etc.

I’m sure the women involved with these men have issues themselves or they wouldn’t hesitate to find someone much better suited for them. I know, I’ve been these women and attracted these men. …


Expert advice to guarantee success

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Katie Dutch — used with permission

I’m really good with relationships. That’s why I was single for 11 years. You’re probably wondering how I accomplished this so I put together a list of dating tips to ensure you find, and keep, the significant other of your dreams.

Go through each other’s phones

If possible, do this while they’re asleep beside you or right in the next room so you have the added risk of getting caught. It adds excitement and passion.

Dishonesty is the best policy

Lie whenever you can. Lie about small inconsequential things, first. This will throw them off. …


Good relationships are boring.

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Katie Dutch — used with permission

If you feel like your relationship is “missing something,” maybe it’s drama. And maybe you’re not “missing” it.

Drama isn’t love. Drama isn’t happiness. Drama is a sparkly distraction that fills the void where the emotional connection should be.

And that’s why your relationship crumbles without drama, because there’s nothing at the heart of it. You’re just two people who hang out and do stuff together. Nothing more.

One or both of you are dead inside and you keep upping the drama trying to fill that ever deepening hole.

But it’s tinsel, it’s glitter, it sparkles and fades and you are a shell. A shell who may never realize or accept that you’re with someone who isn’t right for you. …


But I refuse to be Negative Nancy

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Social media is a fantastic way to share information, make each other laugh, plan trips and meet new people.

It’s our window to the thoughts and feelings of everyone we choose to interact with on a friendly level. It also gives us insight on just how negative people can be daily. It’s draining scrolling through my timelines.

My life isn’t perfect, and although I’m surrounded by love there are days when I let the world get to me. But I refuse to allow myself to wallow in negativity or spread it.

I have bad days but that doesn’t mean I’m going to resent someone who’s having a good one. What do you gain by complaining all the time and focusing on the negative? …


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Katie Dutch — used with permission

I fell asleep while we were texting. I meant to message you back in the morning. I was excited to catch up with you. I woke up overwhelmed with anxiety and hadn’t slept well. I tried to throw myself into the day and promised I’d get back to you. I didn’t want to bring my depression to the conversation.

I’ve been meaning to message you. It’s been so long since we talked. I want to. I want to call you and hear your voice. …


Drop these zeros and make yourself the hero

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Katie Dutch — used with permission

Nothing kills your confidence quicker than the Powers That Be working against you to turn everything to shit and it all being beyond your control.

Or are they?

Ah phooey. I believe our confidence, expectations and end results are 99% our own doing.

There are five common pain in the ass notions you need to do away with before they kill any chance you have of building your own infallible confidence empire.

I know, it can seem like you’re never going to surmount the Mt. Kilimanjaro of self-consciousness and self-loathing, but if I can do it, so can you.

It’s high time we break those chains that bind. …


How to break away from the qualities of these stereotypes

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Katie Dutch — used with permission

I recently received a question from a young woman who found she has difficulty asserting her stance as a respectable woman “with a voice” without being dismissed by men as a feminazi, nag, or an angry bitch. I can appreciate her frustration.

We live in a deeply-engrained misogynistic society where women often find it hard to avoid being stereotyped.

Here’s what she had to say:

“The thing that’s been on my mind lately is the stereotype that men have about women being a nag/clinger when they try to assert themselves.

A woman is a nag because she expects you to show basic human respect and decency? …


Whether a gift or a compliment, receiving is about worthiness and gratitude

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Katie Dutch — used with permission

It is better to give than to receive. Oh, but is it? It’s a belief I’ve begun to question. There’s an art to both. My apologies Apostle Paul, but there’s no record of these words ever coming from the mouth of Jesus in the bible.

In order to receive, there has to be a giver in the equation. Giving, when done from a healthy place, is joyful. When you struggle to receive you deprive the giver of this joy.

Receiving is giving when you think about it this way. …


We all have at least one friend who whines about her sorry love life

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Katie Dutch — used with permission

Every week it’s the same thing: the skeezy guy from the bar, the old booty-call douche, and the ex who keeps resurfacing like hemorrhoids.

She always has the same drama to unload and she comes straight to you because you have a big heart and a dry shoulder and you always give her the benefit of the doubt. Only problem is, she doesn’t take your advice because she keeps repeating the same pattern of idiocy.

Maybe you’re the best friend and your girl’s been telling you to get it together and she hasn’t said all the things you need to hear. Maybe you’re the one who needs your skull rattled and the shit sifted from your ears. …


Stop sabotaging yourself and get out of your own way

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Katie Dutch — used with permission

You’ve registered on the latest dating app and your bio reads like this:

Lonely, single, and desperate with issues, seeking any man who wouldn’t mind putting up with a spineless hag. I’m knee-deep in codependence and FOMO because I can’t be alone.

I enjoy cold, empty nights by myself, soaking my pillow with tears and dreaming of the perfect wedding photo of you and me.

If you’re out there, please respond ASAP because I can’t stand to be alone for another minute. …

About

Niki Marinis

Weird Girl, thrift store owl collector, heartbreaker, lush, aspiring adult. IG: DocJohnnyFever nikimarinis@gmail.com

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