Want to Be Single Forever? Make These 10 First Date Mistakes and You Will Be

Screw up this bad and you’ll die alone

Niki Marinis
8 min readJan 9, 2024
Katie Dutch — used with permission

Every successful relationship starts with a great first date. Any couple who’s happily in love will bore you with the story of their initial dinner and movie.

For most, the first date is a fun social event filled with hope and positive energy. But for many, it’s a gasoline-soaked hurdle set ablaze that must be jumped in order to find someone who’ll put up with you.

First dates cure loneliness because they make you want to be alone.

The Sick Sad Truth is if you screw up that first date, you’re probably going to die alone. These first date mistakes aren’t just deal breakers, they’re deal-destroying-weapons-of-mass-destruction.

If you commit any of these crimes, your date is dead, no questions asked.

Don’t do this stupid shit and who knows, maybe one day you’ll become one-half of that couple who’s always telling the boring story about how wonderful and romantic it was when they first met.

YAWN.

Ramble on about your ex

While your date is awkwardly trying to get to know you, all you can think about is what… or who… your ex is doing.

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Niki Marinis

Weird Girl, thrift store owl collector, heartbreaker, lush, aspiring adult. IG: DocJohnnyFever nikimarinis@gmail.com https://nikimarinis.medium.com/subscribe