Sure signs he’s serious about you

Katie Dutch — used with permission

Women are wasting their time, breath and effort on men who have no intention of committing. Not now, and not this century.

I’ve gotten quite a few questions from women asking if I think their men are ready to commit and every story has the same disappointing, anti-climactic problem:

The guy has issues.

He’s lazy (in EVERY aspect). He’s on social media with pics of him boozing it up with other women. He’s out clubbing every night with his boys. He’s unsure about dating them because he’s still jaded from his previous bad relationships, etc.

I’m sure the women involved…

Simple ways to heal your heart and move on

Katie Dutch — used with permission

Can you date new men when your heart is hooked on another? Yes! The real question is how to date when you are still in love with someone else. How can you navigate these waters and heal in the process?

They say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. Which can work. Though it can make you feel like crap afterwards, too. You might find yourself comparing the new guy to your ex and longing even harder for him. You can end up crying yourself to sleep all over again.

People will tell you…

The best online dating site isn’t what you think

Katie Dutch — used with permission

Online dating, am I right? Oh my God, I’m as sick of and over it as you are. How did so many of my friends meet their spouses in this hellscape? I think Dr. Peter Venkman in Ghostbusters sums up the dilemma nicely:

“For whatever reasons, Ray, call it… fate, call it luck, call it karma, I believe everything happens for a reason. I believe that we were destined to get thrown outta this dump.”

And by kicked out, I mean voluntarily walked away. Those of us who’ve wasted enough of our time on dating apps with little to no…

Or even every day

Katie Dutch — used with permission

Part of being in a healthy relationship is having your own full, fabulous life.

If you have your own interests, hobbies and friends you should be too busy to be texting someone all day or waiting around to hear from them.

Do you want to be with someone who has nothing better to do than text you all day? I hope not.

If you start getting anxious if a few hours go by and you haven’t heard from them, or even worse, if it’s only been an hour, you need to revaluate your life.

You’re either incredibly insecure with little…

Low value traits that keep you unlucky in love

Katie Dutch — used with permission

Women who don’t value themselves are often unaware they feel this way. I sure never thought I was low value or had low self esteem or flat out didn’t like myself. It was quite the opposite. I thought I loved myself and was utterly fabulous!

But if you looked at my relationship history and the way I lived, or wasn’t living, my life it would be overwhelmingly clear. Oh, it was a sad, sad existence. And the ego is a bitch. Oddly enough, the lower the self esteem, the bigger the ego so it can protect that fragile self.

That…

Stop playing Bejewelled and start getting out more

Katie Dutch — used with permission

Guys are like light switches; they get turned off as easily as they get turned on. If a guy doesn’t check you out on social media before your first date, he definitely will afterwards.

I don’t know how he would since online dating profiles don’t list last names. Contrary to movies and TV, I’ve never introduced myself by my full name to a potential date or anyone else for that matter.

Unless you’ve handed out your multi-hyphenate writer-comedian-actress-producer-socialite-trendsetter-influencer-lifestyle blogger-Xtrepreneur business card, they’re only gonna get your last name after they’ve bought you a drink.

Oops! There was that time I…

You’re not crazy, you’re on to something

Katie Dutch — used with permission

Have you ever been on a date with a guy who was nice but you didn’t feel anything? You thought, “What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I like him?”

Women have a strong sense of intuition about things like this. We can tell when something’s off. A woman with a high sense of self-worth is even more aware something is wrong below the surface of this Nice Guy.

A woman with low self-worth will agonize over why she isn’t interested and feel guilty about it. She stresses about how to tell him she isn’t feeling it, or how to break…

You just don’t like the answer

Katie Dutch — used with permission

You don’t need to ask him where this is going. He’s telling you all the time.

If he’s not asking you out often, he’s not interested in a relationship. If he only texts you when he’s bored at work, he’s not interested in a relationship. If you only hear from him in the middle of the night, he’s not interested in anything but sex.

This is also why you don’t only date him, you date tons of guys all at the same time. Let the best man fucking win, damn it.

What has this guy done to deserve your exclusivity…

And what you can do to change it

Katie Dutch — used with permission

Can you, in fact, have both narcissist traits and doormat tendencies? Hi! Nice to meet you. I’m Niki, and the answer is yes. My brother and I both have this delightful combination marinating in our personalities.

AND we’re both Gemini’s. What are the chances? Ain’t fate a bitch.

I think I’m a little too good for things like a regular job or housework, yet I let friends, acquaintances, strangers, and family members walk all over me and blame myself for why they’re doing it.

It’s a topsy-turvy world.

I was telling my therapist about the latest, and I’m sure often-repeated…

It’s tired. What else ya got?

Katie Dutch — used with permission

Last night at dinner my girlfriend and I were trading our latest war stories from the front lines of the dating hellscape. As is the plight of many single women whose friends have settled down, we get plenty of unsolicited advice about how we can meet Mr. Right.

One of the most common pieces of advice is “Put yourself out there!”

What does that even mean?

We aren’t shut-ins. We don’t have bed sores from sitting on our couches eating Cheetos for weekends on end. We’re fashionable, educated, funny, we shower and smell nice. …

Niki Marinis

Weird Girl, thrift store owl collector, heartbreaker, lush, aspiring adult. IG: DocJohnnyFever nikimarinis@gmail.com

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store