Sure signs he’s serious about you

Katie Dutch — used with permission

Women are wasting their time, breath and effort on men who have no intention of committing. Not now, and not this century.

I’ve gotten quite a few questions from women asking if I think their men are ready to commit and every story has the same disappointing, anti-climactic problem:

The guy has issues.

He’s lazy (in EVERY aspect). He’s on social media with pics of him boozing it up with other women. He’s out clubbing every night with his boys. He’s unsure about dating them because he’s still jaded from his previous bad relationships, etc.

I’m sure the women involved…


If you’re wondering what they mean, chances are they don’t mean much

Katie Dutch — used with permission

It’s not that big of a mystery. Guys pursue hard in the beginning, so don’t use that as a yardstick to measure him against throughout the relationship.

We’d die of exhaustion if we were in a state of “falling in love” all the time. It ebbs and flows. Sometimes he’s hot, sometimes he’s taking a break and recharging. He’ll always be back hot if you let him be.

You can’t expect a guy to be “on” 24/7. He has a life too, doesn’t he? Hopefully? And a job? That alone might be a good reason why he texts you less…


And what you can do to change it

Katie Dutch — used with permission

Can you, in fact, have both narcissist traits and doormat tendencies? Hi! Nice to meet you. I’m Niki, and the answer is yes. My brother and I both have this delightful combination marinating in our personalities.

AND we’re both Gemini’s. What are the chances? Ain’t fate a bitch.

I think I’m a little too good for things like a regular job or housework, yet I let friends, acquaintances, strangers, and family members walk all over me and blame myself for why they’re doing it.

It’s a topsy turvy world.

I was telling my therapist about the latest, and I’m sure…


Good relationships are boring.

Katie Dutch — used with permission

If you feel like your relationship is “missing something,” maybe it’s drama. And maybe you’re not “missing” it.

Drama isn’t love. Drama isn’t happiness. Drama is a sparkly distraction that fills the void where the emotional connection should be.

And that’s why your relationship crumbles without drama, because there’s nothing at the heart of it. You’re just two people who hang out and do stuff together. Nothing more.

One or both of you are dead inside and you keep upping the drama trying to fill that ever deepening hole.

But it’s tinsel, it’s glitter, it sparkles and fades and you’re…


Beyond the fact he’s a man and you met him on Tinder

Katie Dutch — used with permission

What I’m about to say may shock you.

Some men only want you for sex.

WHAT?!

I know. Crazy, right? They look at you like a juicy steak that needs to be flipped, tenderized, and flambéed. They don’t care how sweet or smart you are, or how much value you bring to the table. They want to brand you like a cow with their initials square on your ass.

OWNED

Here are some signs he only wants to bone.

He flat out said so

Fortunately, most of the time these guys will tell you flat out they’re only looking for a good time. Or they…


They look good on paper, but no so much in real life.

Katie Dutch — used with permission

My parents always warned me not to date starving artists, bartenders and guys who don’t pay their bills on time. I know, I know, we shouldn’t stereotype but there’s a reason the stereotype exists in the first place.

I was told from an early age to always check the guy’s bank book (Does anyone besides my dad even have a bank book anymore?) And to assess whether he’s kind to the wait staff.

But despite that sage advice there are a few other types who can blindside you and some of us had to learn the hard way.

Here are…


Break the cycle. No 12 step program needed

Katie Dutch — used with permission

Whether they’re romantic, co-dependent, or superficial, toxic relationships rely on some type of reward or recognition. Except the reward is more bad behavior and unjustifiable bullshit you know you can do without.

You’re indoctrinated in a stubborn brainwashing system where you can’t let the person or relationship go because some catastrophe will ensue and force you to break your patterns. People don’t like to change because it’s hard and involves breaking “unbreakable” patterns.

Our lives center around habits. We can find the support we need to change our habits through seminars, self-help books, hypnosis, and psychologists. …


Ditch these mindsets if you’re looking for your Plus One

Katie Dutch — used with permission

We all have our beliefs. Some serve us, some don’t. Our life experiences often reinforce these self-limiting beliefs. A cycle of self-sabotage, especially when it comes to affairs of the heart.

Limiting beliefs are assumptions you’ve decided are true. But they may not be true at all. They’re blocking you from giving and receiving love.

Our ego holds onto these beliefs making us think we’re protecting ourselves. But the reality is we’re living in fear.

When we have a belief we subconsciously look for evidence to support it, and that’s what keeps us stuck.

1. Good men are rare.

Or they’re taken, gay, are jerks…


Expert advice to guarantee success

Katie Dutch — used with permission

I’m really good with relationships. That’s why I was single for 11 years. You’re probably wondering how I accomplished this, so I put together a list of dating tips to ensure you find, and keep, the significant other of your dreams.

Go through each other’s phones

If possible, do this while they’re asleep beside you or right in the next room so you have the added risk of getting caught. It adds excitement and passion.

Dishonesty is the best policy

Lie whenever you can. Lie about small inconsequential things, first. This will throw them off. Eventually get so good at lying that you move on to more extreme lies. …


What to do

Katie Dutch — used with permission

Some people in relationships get used to lies, manipulation and empty promises that things are going to get better, change, or become more of what they always wanted.

Whether that be marriage, becoming the benefactor of someone’s life insurance, or scoring an engagement ring the size of a Canadian province, it’s no argument that talk buys time.

Despite knowing the relationship is going nowhere, we continue to hang on. We’d rather take what we can get than deal with the horror of being single. A band-aid for an open wound that doesn’t heal because it can’t.

We do that because…

Niki Marinis

Weird Girl, thrift store owl collector, heartbreaker, lush, aspiring adult. IG: DocJohnnyFever nikimarinis@gmail.com

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