Women Can Be Nice Guys, Too

Low value traits that keep you unlucky in love

Niki Marinis


Katie Dutch — used with permission

Women who don’t value themselves are often unaware they feel this way. I sure never thought I was low value or had low self-esteem or flat out didn’t like myself. It was quite the opposite. I thought I loved myself and was utterly fabulous!

But if you looked at my relationship history and the way I lived, or wasn’t living my life, it would be overwhelmingly clear.

Oh, it was a sad, sad existence. And the ego is a bitch. Oddly enough, the lower the self-esteem, the bigger the ego so it can protect that fragile self.

That leads us to try and control every aspect of our lives and every minutia of a romantic relationship. We want to control out of fear. We got hurt or screwed over and we’re not gonna let it happen again!

We’re afraid we’re gonna lose the guy we’ve just started seeing so we do all these desperate, low value things in an attempt to control the situation. The opposite usually happens, though. He leaves.

Here are some things you’re doing that give off desperate, needy, cling vibes that repel men (people).

You over give and put your needs last

Giving feels good. Until you give too much and feel hurt and resentful.

Have you ever felt like you gave a man everything, were the perfect girlfriend, gave and gave, and then he just left? Turned you off like a light switch?

If you’ve ever felt this way, chances are you’re an over-giver. You feel empty and broken because you put the needs of a man above your own.

Over-giving can look like:

  • Canceling plans just to be with him when he asks last minute
  • Having sex when you’re tired and not really in the mood
  • Volunteering to do chores for him, pick up groceries, dry cleaning, etc…
  • Sending sexy pics even if you feel uncomfortable doing it because he asked
  • Not being able to remember the last time you had fun with your friends
  • Making yourself available to him at all times



Niki Marinis

Weird Girl, thrift store owl collector, heartbreaker, lush, aspiring adult. IG: DocJohnnyFever nikimarinis@gmail.com https://nikimarinis.medium.com/subscribe