It’s a challenge to surrender to listening and following my heart, but even moreso to TRUST it! And myself! This is the heart vs the brain! There’s a constant battle going on in my head between what I think I “should” do vs what I “want” to do.
Brain vs. Heart = Should vs. Want
Like, I “should” go to that party and be social, but I WANT to stay home and hang out on my own. Let me tell you how many times I’ve gone out because I felt it was the thing I was supposed to do, only to get there and feel empty, maybe have a laugh or two, and come home hours later wishing I had been brave enough to do what I wanted to instead.
Or something bigger, like feeling like you “should” go to college and pursue that career you’re not really into because your parents really want you to and they think it’ll give you security, when you really WANT to be a chef or an artist or a writer… lead any other kind of more unconventional life that speaks to YOUR heart, but maybe not your family’s.
Big or small, the Should vs. Want can be a daily struggle. Hindsight makes it super clear that the WANTS, and therefor my heart choices, almost always, without fail, were/would have been the best options.
I’ve spent my life crippled in the agony of what feels like the life or death decision of figuring out what I “SHOULD” do in any given situation. I was taught what I WANTED didn’t matter, so I stopped knowing what that even was. Gotta please people, gotta keep everyone happy, so what “SHOULD” I do here?!
It’s lead to a super fun existence of not trusting myself or my own judgement, and not even knowing my own wants, and basing everything in some mythical “should.” Lemme tell you, there’s nothing fun or relaxing about living this way. At all. “Should” is in your brain. That’s living from your mind and analytics and attachments.
WANTS come from your heart and they’re a GOOD thing. They come from love and happiness and emotion and desire and inspiration, and most importantly, intuition. I never trusted myself because I was closed off from my emotions and my wants, and therefor, my intuition, my gut instincts.
I’m finally learning my wants are OK and how to listen to them and they are way better and far more fun than any “should” that’s ever crossed my brain.
Our brain doesn’t know how to distinguish between what’s in our best interest and what isn’t, so it ends up a crappy mess. This is the same dynamic that happens when we do what we think we should as opposed to what we want to do because it makes us happy and our heart dance. That’s reason enough.
Don’t justify your happiness. You deserve it because it’s your birth right.
You are worthy simply because you exist. Give yourself permission to fall madly, passionately in love with yourself. Everything is sourced from here.
THE SOLUTION = ALWAYS LIVE IN YOUR HEART
It’s the only thing that matters, and the only thing we keep in the end.
Learn to override this default mechanism by heightening your self-awareness. Look for the old familiar/family patterns. Look for the symptoms of dissatisfaction.
You must be willing to get in touch with your truest feelings. Don’t fear them! They won’t kill you, they’ll only feel like they are. But they can’t! It’s impossible.
Honor your feelings. Allow them to come up. This will help them disappear, like airing out an old, musty storage unit. Continue practicing this to experience new empowering patterns. That’s how you form new habits. Only, now you’re creating habits that serve your highest good.
- Choose your heart
- Recognize symptoms
- Resist nothing
- Feel your feelings with NO self-judgement or self-criticism
- Nurture yourself
- Trust yourself and your process
- Don’t give in to your old self-sabotaging patterns
- Choose to love yourself above all. The rest aligns magically!
- Let go of old, disempowering thoughts and habits. Create new empowering mantras that create new patterns which transform your life.
You have nothing to lose. You’re already losing by “shoulding” yourself to death. The past is evidence it hasn’t worked.
Doing something different guarantees you create something you’d never expect. “Doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different result.” — Insanity
Take a risk. Either way, death is inevitable so there’s never anything to lose when it comes to living in your HEART!
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