Oh, hi! Notes From a Tourist Town

Living where other people vacation

Image by Alisha Hicks. Topa Topa Mountains from Ojai Meadow Preserve. Used with permission.

Ahh, the smell of patchouli and dirt in the afternoon!

Overpriced organic food, hippies and tourists. Just another day at the local health food store and deli, Rainbow Bridge, in my new age, artist community hometown of Ojai, CA. People loudly waxing on about detoxing and naturopaths, acupuncture and energy healing. And oh yes, the drum circles. Let’s never forget the drum circles.

The people watching here is unparalleled. It’s why I put myself through the torture of coming downtown for vastly overpriced organic, gluten free, vegan nitro cold brewed coffee and a locally sourced, free range egg salad sandwich.

The pungent, unwashed, barefoot masses, and the more than occasional celebrity, all fresh off their juice cleanse, on their way to cyro yoga, and need to pick up some artisanal toothpaste first, but only if their quartz crystal pendulum swings the right direction when they hold it over the tube. (Actual incident witness with my own bare eyes)

I’ll take underdeveloped Polaroids of you and tell you I’m reading your aura for $25 a pop. Come on down! I’ll align your chakras and clear your energy blocks, sure.

Drink water out of this blue glass bottle that you leave in the sun so the energy from the…