The sad thing is there is only one incident I ever considered harassment, and that was when an employee at a local record store told me he’d pay me if I blew him in the office upstairs. Even sadder, my first thought was what did I do to make him do this?
But in listening to actresses describe their interactions with Weinstein, I realized they sounded like too many dates I’ve been on. Where guys try to wear you down and give them SOMETHING.
“Come in. Just for a few minutes. I have to grab something real quick, just come in. Let’s watch a movie. I know you said you had to go but come on, it’s just a movie.”
“You can crash on my couch. I’ll lay here with you, but nothing will happen! We’ll keep out clothes on! I’m just going to put my arms around you, OK? I’m not going to do anything else…” and then they start trying to grope and kiss you.
“Just sit in my car with me.”
“Can I kiss you? I drove all this way…”
Bracing my arms across my chest with my legs crossed to prevent men from trying to grope me on dates. It’s the constant badgering and trying to wear you down so you just give in. Like a forced confession. Being blatantly ogled and only asked questions about my sex life and treated like an object, and an uptight prude if I have a problem with it… is that harassment, too? Or is that just a date? Because the line has been blurred for me. Whatever you want to call it, it’s very, very common.
Or to add insult to injury, my female friends who’ve given me shit for NOT crashing on a guys couch, or accepting a ride home. Female friends who’ve given me shit for NOT giving a guy more, for insisting a date meet me somewhere, or come to my side of town. Female friends who tell me I’m too picky, expect too much, and should basically just shut up and take what’s given to me and stop being so difficult. The harassment comes from both sides.