I’m no longer mad at him, or feel I did something wrong, or wasn’t good enough. Ultimately we wanted different things, and I don’t fault anyone that. He’s immature, insecure, not self-aware, but I never thought he was a bad person. He’s a good man with a lot of great qualities, he just wasn’t the man for me.
I’m sure he cared about me, but I’m also sure he cared more about getting attention and having fun than creating any deeper connection, and again, that’s fine, it’s just not what I wanted.
I honestly didn’t care that he didn’t call me his girlfriend, because I felt like he was treating me as one. The fact that he wouldn’t say we were even DATING was a problem. Because we were OBVIOUSLY dating. But that was a red flag I ignored. I should have kept dating others and not given all of my time to just him. I also ignored my anxiety, I ignored the passive aggression, I ignored my own wants, desires, needs, self-care, self-respect… like I had done in the past. And because of him and this relationship I finally wised up and did a 180 on myself and how I go about dating, which lead me to my new boyfriend.
I didn’t need my new boyfriend to give me a title. The bigger point is that he made it very clear he wanted to be with me with actions AND words. As evidenced by the last guy, actions aren’t enough. I learned what to look for, how to observe, and to accept where these guys were and what they wanted without trying to change them and manipulate them into wanting what I wanted. If a guy is not making it clear that you’re dating and building a relationship, then you’re not. You’re just hanging out. I learned to not over invest myself into someone who wasn’t showing me they wanted more.
I appreciate your perspective and comment! I’m inspired to write more about what I’ve learned. 😊