Eating Makes Me Feel Good
I tried to be an alcoholic. Really tried. Alcohol tastes like crap when you’re drinking alone. Fail.
I can’t afford a drug addiction. Ha! I don’t buy drugs, I have huge boobs.
Honestly, if I was smart I would invest my time and improved energy in cocaine. I would get shit done, slim down, and save all that money I’ve been wasting on food. I’ll just do coke until I lose 40 lbs and then I’ll…