Cupid Tinder Match: LOL FML

Reporting live from the murder scene of your dating hopes and dreams

Niki Marinis

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Author’s artwork

Oh man! I found a folder of old drafts of my online dating story ridiculousness from before Covid times! Because the Good Lord knows I don’t fuck with online dating anymore. So please enjoy this back-log from The Before Time, in the Long Long Ago.

This guy only wants to get laid, and immediately. I just want him to admit it.

Guy on OKC: Niki??

Me: That’s me :)

Guy: ;)

Guy: To late for txtn?

Stop abbreviating words. There are no character limits, man.

Me: Not yet

Guy: Too late for company?

Me: Company?

Guy: Say I wanted to meet u

Guy: Is it too late for tonight??

Me: It’s a little late tonight to go out

Guy: It is

Guy: :(

Guy: Ok

Guy: To late for a profile pic for my phone??

We haven’t met, only exchanged ten texts, and you want a special profile pic for your phone?

Me: I have pics on my OKC profile :)

Guy: I know but I want my own…

Me:

Guy: That hasn’t been sent to anyone

Me:

Guy: So what’s got u on okc anyways??

Me: You know, dating. :)

Guy: I just don’t see why you’d have trouble in that department

Me: I don’t :)

Guy: So again why the need for the site?

Me: Because it’s fun

Guy: How’d I manage to get your number out of the flock??

Honestly, because you asked. Getting my number isn’t special. Getting a date with me is.

Me:

Guy: Not lookn to settle?

Me: Nah, settling’s no good

Guy: I see

Guy: Can I come meet u? ;)

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Niki Marinis

Weird Girl, thrift store owl collector, heartbreaker, lush, aspiring adult. IG: DocJohnnyFever nikimarinis@gmail.com https://nikimarinis.medium.com/subscribe