Cupid Tinder Match: Empty Space For Rent
Reporting live from the murder scene of your dating hopes and dreams
Guy on OKC: When may I have the pleasure of meeting you?
Me: When you move 160 miles closer.
Guy: I live in Ventura
Me: Why does your profile say Paso Robles? And why haven’t you filled it out?
Guy: I just made it a few days ago and I’m not sure why it says paso
A few days ago is more than enough time to FILL THE FUCKING PROFILE OUT.
Why do men think women are going to go out with them when they have no pictures and an empty profile? Because we’ll exchange messages with these jackasses asking that very question. That’s why. Let’s all stop it.
“I’ll sign up for this dating site, not fill out the profile or put up any pictures, and I’ll message women with something boring and inane, and they should come RUNNING to meet me. Why wouldn’t they? They can tell from a fake screen name and one sentence what a catch I am and how compatible we are.”
Imagine calling a random number and when they answer, you say, “When may I have the pleasure of meeting you?” You’re presenting the same amount of information and creepiness by doing that as you are with your worthless profile.
If you’re that terrified of sharing anything about yourself without a guarantee of sexual or romantic success, you need to get off dating apps and get into some therapy.
Go on vacation, clean your room, address your emotional unavailability and why you hate yourself so much. Once you start liking yourself more, dating will actually be fun.
Fuck off until then. ‘Kthnxbye!