Cupid Tinder Match: Direct Deposit

Reporting live from the murder scene of your dating hopes and dreams

Author’s artwork

Oh man! I found a folder of old drafts of ridiculousness from before Covid times! Because the Good Lord knows I don’t fuck with online dating anymore. So please enjoy this back-log from The Before Time, in the Long Long Ago.

Guy on Tinder: What’s up?

Me: Not much. You?

Guy: Just working.

Me: Cool

Guy: How’s your day going?

Me: Not too bad

Guy: That’s good.

I’M SO BORED. YOU’RE BORING ME. STOP BEING BORING.

Guy: I notice on your profile it says you like to go to dive bars.

Guy: You ever go to Whiskey Richard’s?

WHY DIDN’T YOU START WITH THIS?!

Me: I’ve walked by it but I’ve never been in.

Guy: It’s pretty cool. One of my favorite bars in town.

Me: I’ve put in a lot of time at Red Cove and San Souci.

Guy: Never been

Me: They’re the dive-iest of the dives