Bonnie, I love it! I’m honored to be a part of this piece and your story. It’s rough all over, man. For everyone. The thing I keep telling myself is if it were easy we’d all be coupled up with our dream partners! I don’t think I expected it to be easy but I sure didn’t expect it to be this hard.
And it’s too true about having your shit together. I mean, I totally don’t in many regards… I’m an aspiring adult… but I am over the drama and the “excitement” many men feel this brings to their lives. I think it’s made me “boring” to many guys. And that’s sad. It’s sad that genuine connection and intimacy is considered boring but stalking your boyfriend online and hacking his phone and obsessively texting, nagging, breaking down and throwing fits is considered “exciting” and desirable. Sure, it makes it easier to weed those guys out, but Great Awesome Guys aren’t rushing in to fill that void.
What can we do but keep living our best lives and hope that, in doing so, we will attract the right people? And seriously delete all the dating apps because 11 years of online dating is like repeatedly digging up the dead horse to flog it’s rotting flesh off the bone. Much love to you, my new friend!