Are you on a time schedule? Got a deadline to meet? Getting to know someone is never a waste of time, even if you don’t end up life partners. How long do you expect it to take to get to know someone in order to date them? Dating isn’t Amazon Prime where you get a new girlfriend in two days. What is your rush? Do just want a status symbol, an object to claim, or a genuine connection with another human being? Because the latter takes time and effort and patience and enthusiasm.
There’s nothing ungentlemanly about making the first move. It’s simply being confident enough to ask someone out.
Of course women lie, too. There are assholes everywhere. And we’re all guilty of lying to ourselves about our true feelings, for fear of messing up friendships or being rejected. It’s the people who deliberately deceive and manipulate others to get what they want, with no regard for the other person or their clearly stated boundaries, that Bonnie is talking about here with this particular guy. Anyone who uses others as a means to their own ends, male or female, is an asshole.