Sure signs he’s serious about you

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Katie Dutch — used with permission

Women are wasting their time, breath and effort on men who have no intention of committing. Not now, and not this century.

I’ve gotten quite a few questions from women asking if I think their men are ready to commit and every story has the same disappointing, anti-climactic problem:

The guy has issues.

He’s lazy (in EVERY aspect). He’s on social media with pics of him boozing it up with other women. He’s out clubbing every night with his boys. He’s unsure about dating them because he’s still jaded from his previous bad relationships, etc.

I’m sure the women involved…


You had the power all along

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Katie Dutch — used with permission

I’m a Big Fan of telling people to accept everyone exactly as they are, right here, right now, in this very moment.

I harp on it because I’ve hitched my wagon to the imaginary star of “potential” only to be left on the ground still waiting to get anywhere

Banking on mythical “potential” is only justifying the crap behavior you’re putting up with. And here’s the secret: you don’t have to put up with it!

*Gasp*

When I tell a friend they have to accept the way the dude they’re dating is behaving and treating them, I often get a…


Screw up this bad and you’ll die single

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Katie Dutch — used with permission

Every successful relationship starts with a great first date. Any couple who’s happily in love will bore you with the story of their initial dinner and movie.

For most, the first date is a fun social event filled with hope and positive energy. But for many, it’s a gasoline-soaked hurdle set ablaze that must be jumped in order to find someone who’ll put up with you.

First dates cure loneliness because they make you want to be alone.

The sick sad truth is that if you screw up that first date, you’re probably going to die alone. These first date…


And vice versa

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Katie Dutch — used with permission

“You’re my missing puzzle piece. I’m complete.” — Katy Perry

Bullshit.

Why do so many single people tend to feel like shit about themselves and get so desperate to get into any kind of relationship? Because of this shit right there.

The notion of this lyric implies that you’re incomplete without a significant other. And you’re not. You’re a whole, complete person all on your own.

You’re already cake. A great relationship is just icing on that cake. And that’s a sentiment I can get behind.

The idea that you’re missing something without a significant other in your life destroys…


I feel like a fraud

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Katie Dutch — used with permission

I sit here “trying to write” all day in my pajamas, dicking around on other websites pretending I’m looking for inspiration or procrastinating.

Why?

Why do I think what I have to say isn’t good enough to share? Even after amazing comments and views from so many people on things I HAVE shared. I guess Imposter Syndrome never ends.

Does Stephen King question whether his next novel will suck?

I’m all about making buckets of money, but one does want a hint of integrity and fulfillment, and not be left an empty shell floating atop your millions of dollars. …


That’s not what dating is

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Katie Dutch — used with permission

Going on three dates with a guy shouldn’t be all it takes for you to decide you want to make it official. You know what that sounds like?

Desperation.

A girlfriend of mine recently told me about her new boyfriend. I said, “Boyfriend? How long have you been dating?” She said three weeks.

Three weeks, man. That is not enough time to decide you want to cut off all your other options and commit to one guy.

Dating is not getting into multiple short term committed relationships. That’s serial monogamy. …


And get into having some dignity

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Katie Dutch — used with permission

Closure doesn’t exist. If you’re a true crime junkie like me, you’ve seen it a thousand times on Dateline and 20/20: grieving families who put killers behind bars who feel not an ounce of closure. Catching a killer doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t bring their loved one back or end the pain in their hearts.

You think begging some jerk who ghosted you for an explanation is, what? Gonna make you feel better?

“You were a self-centered, needy, clingy, inconsiderate slob.” Feel better now?

You also seem to think they’d have a more in depth answer than, “I just don’t…


Do you like rejection? Because that’s what you’re setting yourself up for.

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Katie Dutch — used with permission

You miss your ex. You have regrets, unconfessed feelings, apologies, explanations and you are just sure writing them a letter detailing your devotion is going to prove your love and win them over.

Well I’ve got news for you: your ex is not going to come rushing back to you because you wrote them a letter.

They’re not.

All you’re going to do is go through the break-up and rejection ALL OVER AGAIN when you don’t get the response you want, or you don’t get a response at all. You’re going to relive your break-up like it just happened.

Was…


Simple tweaks to save your sanity

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Katie Dutch — used with permission

You think he’s an idiot, he thinks you’re a nut case. You insist he doesn’t understand you, he insists you’re a nut case. You get angry and cry. He shrugs his shoulders, assumes it’s a personal problem that has nothing to do with him and chalks it up to you being an overly emotional irrational nut case.

Sound familiar?

I’ve been let down in the dating world. A lot. But after much reflection and soul searching, I realized it comes down to expectations. …


Have they landed you your dream man or are they keeping him at bay?

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Katie Dutch — used with permission

A lot of women have relationship goals and a list of expectations required to meet them. They dismiss men left and right who don’t meet their expectations, and keep it moving. Seems to make sense, right? No point in wasting your time, is there?

Here’s a list of a few common expectations:

  • Must be as educated or more educated than me
  • Must be financially stable
  • Must be into fitness
  • Must be taller than me
  • Must be willing to always put me first

I could go on and on but I’ll stop here. I’ve spent time with all of the above…

Niki Marinis

Weird Girl, thrift store owl collector, heartbreaker, lush, aspiring adult. IG: DocJohnnyFever nikimarinis@gmail.com

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